All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others – Tous les animaux sont égaux, mais il y en a qui le sont plus que d’autres

This post is actually part of an email I sent to my mom this morning – again, we’re discussing what’s going on in Québec and the charter and her reply to a video sent to her by someone she knows. I won’t get into details about the original e-mail nor the response my mother sent back.

I am forever thankful to have a family that is open minded and won’t be duped by ignorance being spread about in order to create distrust, hate and division for political gains. Alhamdullillah.

Warning – it’s in “Franglais”. 😉 Translation into English will follow the french text and will be in italics.

*****

Cet article est tiré d’un courriel que j’ai envoyé à ma mère ce matin discutant de ce qu’il se passe au Québec et de la charte. Quelqu’un lui a envoyé une vidéo et, semblerait, qu’elle en a eu assez. Elle leur a renvoyé une réplique et m’a mis en BCC. Je ne vais pas rentrer dans les détails ni du courriel original ni de la réplique envoyé par ma mère.

Je suis tellement reconnaissante envers Dieu et ma famille. Alhamdullilah (Dieu merci), ma famille ne se laisse pas influencer par l’ignorance, la haine et la méfiance qui est encouragé de ces jours ci, question de gains et enjeux politiques.

Avertissement – ce courriel est en “franglais”. 😉

E-mail / Courriel

“…Je suis déjà tellement bombardé par toutes sortes de choses négatives au sujet de ma religion est des préjugés que ça fait plusieurs semaines que je n’ai pas écouté la radio.
I am already bombarded with all sorts of negative things and prejudices pertaining to my religion that it’s been a few weeks since I’ve tuned into the radio.

Les gens seront toujours mal renseignés et je crois qu’il y a parfois rien à faire. On peut leur parler et tenter de les renseigner, mais s’il ne veulent rien entendre ou comprendre…
People will always be misinformed and I think that, sometimes, there’s nothing to do. We can talk to them and try to inform them but if they never want to listen or understand…

Ce qui compte pour moi c’est que mes proches considèrent que, dans notre société, les droits sont garantis pour tout le monde; peu importe leur race, religion, langue, etc. Ce qui me fait de la peine c’est que des “Féministes” veulent enlever le droit de certaines femmes, voir même les isoler et les rendre plus dépendantes sur leurs maris. Comme si une femme était trop niaiseuse pour décider d’elle-même ce qu’elle veut porter. Et si une femme est forcée à le porter ou est dans une situation abusive, pourquoi ne pas s’assurer qu’elle a recours à des services ou ressources pour se sortir de cette situation? Bien non! Le problème n’est pas le manque de soutien pour les femmes, mais c’est la religion! BULLSHIT! L’Islam à donné plusieurs droits aux femmes au 7e siècle quand elle n’en avaient pas! (Je pourrais t’en reparler une autre fois) Toutes les femmes de notre société pourraient profiter de plus de services et soutien. Au lieu de diviser le monde, pourquoi ne pas tenter de tous nous rapprocher et de s’entraider?
What’s important to me is that those closest to me believe that, within our society, rights are guaranteed for all – regardless of race, religion, language, etc. What makes me sad is that these “Feminists” would like to take the right of some women, even go as far as to isolate them and make them more dependent on their husbands. As if a woman was too stupid to make up her own mind about what she wants to wear. And if a woman is forced to wear it (the veil) or is in an abusive situation, why not ensure that she has access to services or resources to get out of this situation? Of course not! The problem isn’t a lack of support for women, it’s religion! BULLSHIT! Islam gave women many rights in the 7th century, a time when they had none! (I can talk to you about this some other time) All women in our society could benefit from more services and assistance. Instead of dividing people, why not try and bring us all together to help one another?

Je vais terminer mon courriel avec une théorie et une citation (la dernière m’est revenue après plusieurs années).
I’ll end this e-mail with a bit of theory and a quote (the latter coming back to me after many years).

Théorie : Divide and conquer – wikipedia

In politics and sociology, divide and rule (or divide and conquer) (derived from Greek: διαίρει καὶ βασίλευε, diaírei kaì basíleue) is gaining and maintaining power by breaking up larger concentrations of power into pieces that individually have less power than the one implementing the strategy. The concept refers to a strategy that breaks up existing power structures and prevents smaller power groups from linking up…

…In modern times, Traiano Boccalini cites “divide et impera” in La bilancia politica, 1,136 and 2,225 as a common principle in politics. The use of this technique is meant to empower the sovereign to control subjects, populations, or factions of different interests, who collectively might be able to oppose his rule…

…Elements of this technique involve:

1. creating or encouraging divisions among the subjects to prevent alliances that could
2. challenge the sovereign (oui – la charte elle-même –yes, the charter itself)

aiding and promoting those who are willing to cooperate with the sovereign (oui – voir le Conseil du statut de la femme – “Le Conseil du statut de la femme (CSF) n’est pas un organisme indépendant du pouvoir politique” – Pauline Marois –yes, the Council on the Status of Women – “Le Council on the Status of Women (CSF) is not an organism independant from political power”- Pauline Marois)

3. fostering distrust and enmity between local rulers (oui – encore, la charte et la division “Pur Laine” vs “les autres” – yes, again the charter and the division between the “Pur Laine” and “the Others”)
4. encouraging meaningless expenditures that reduce the capability for political and military spending (oui – 1,9 millions $ pour publicités pro-charte, etc –yes, $1.9 million spent on pro-charter publicities, etc)

Citation / Quote
Et maintenant pour la citation, ce qui me fait un peu peur, mais je ne suis pas surprise.
And now for the quote, which scared me a it but I’m not all that surprised.

« All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others »
“Tous les animaux sont égaux, mais il y en a qui le sont plus que d’autres.”

-Animal Farm, , George Orwell, 1945. Bref: les droits de certains priment au dessus des droits des autres… Basically: the rights of some are more important than the rights of others.

Un très bon livre qui commente sur la révolution en Russie (Stalin) et que je devrais relire un de ces jours. Voici ce que Wikipédia dit au sujet de ce livre, certaines choses s’appliquent à notre situation :
A very good book that comments on the revolution in Russia (Stalin) – which I should read again one of these days. This is what Wikipedia says about the book, certain things apply to our situation:
«The novel addresses not only the corruption of the revolution by its leaders, but also the ways wickedness, indifference, ignorance, greed, and myopia corrupt the revolution. It portrays corrupt leadership as the flaw in revolution, rather than the act of revolution itself. It also shows how potential ignorance and indifference to problems within a revolution could allow horrors to happen if a smooth transition to a people’s government is not achieved. »

I think I’ve said all I have to say. ;)”

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Changements à la charte des droits et liberté au Québec – La charte “des valeurs québecoises”

Bon, je ne suis pas certaine si je vais traduire le tout que j’ai écris hier en anglais; ce n’est pas mon meilleur texte et j’ai les émotions qui courent un peu partout. Que ressens-je en ce moment? Je suis triste, déçue, fâchée, même enragée par temps… D’un sens, je me sens aussi trahie par certaines personnes dans mon peuple, la culture dans laquelle j’ai été élevée. Bref, j’ai le cœur brisé…

C’est drôle, mes parents m’ont toujours dit d’être tolérante et ils m’ont élevés avec un esprit curieux, ouvert. Ils ne m’ont jamais montré comment différer entre une personne ou une autre basé sur la couleur de leur peau, la manière dont il(elle) se vêtit, leur pays d’origine, leur religion ou leur langue maternelle. Non, on m’a encouragée d’apprendre à connaitre et apprécier le monde basé sur leur caractère, leur personnalité, leurs valeurs.

Certains dirons peut-être que je suis naïve, mais j’essaie toujours de vivre ma vie de cette manière, de percevoir le monde à travers cette philosophie. Je ne peux m’imaginer à quel point ma vie serait limitée et vide si mes parents m’auraient inculqués avec une vision intolérante et fermée d’esprit.

Alhamdullillahi rabbil ‘alamin! (Louange à Allah, Seigneur de l’univers) En grande part, c’est grâce à eux et à la manière dont ils m’ont élevés que j’ai retrouvé mon chemin vers Dieu, que j’ai trouvé l’homme de ma vie, que j’ai eu la chance de m’entourer de gens magnifiques. Même si j’ai le cœur brisé avec ce qu’il se passe au Québec, je leurs suis infiniment reconnaissante de m’avoir appris que tout ce que je sais, y incluant que tout le monde est égal et que nous avons tous des droits; peu importe notre nom, sexe, origine, langue, foie, mode de vie, etc.!

Un positif dans toute cette situation; il semblerait que l’île de Montréal ferait une demande d’exemption pour cette nouvelle charte. Ceci m’a tellement remonté le moral. Toutes les municipalités et la grande Ville elle même, toute l’île, à l’unanimité s’oppose à la charte! Subhan’Allah! Voir l’article dans La Presse.

Je vais terminer ceci avec un lien vers un manifeste en français, écrit par un groupe surnommé Québec Inclusif. C’est un long texte mais ça vaut le temps de lecture.
Lien vers le manifeste
Et si vous aimez ce qu’ils ont à dire, je vous encourage à signer leur manifeste en cliquant ici.

Merci.

On the proposed changes to the Québec charter of rights

As some of you may or may not know, the government of Québec is looking to make some changes to the provincial charter of rights and freedoms. Usually, I would say that change can be good, but in this case I cannot agree in the least!

This post may be a bit all over the place – I’m that annoyed/disappointed/mad/enraged/heart-broken.

 

What are the changes proposed?

It would ban the wearing of “overt and conspicuous” religious symbols by any public/civil servants while on the job.

So what is an “overt and conspicuous” religious symbol anyway? Large crucifixes, turbans, hijabs, burqas and kippas. But feel free to wear a small symbol as jewelry.

 

Who is directly affected by the ban?

Public service extends to: judges, police, prosecutors, public daycare workers, teachers, school staff, hospital workers (doctors, nurses and other staff), municipal personnel.

 

Why is this ban being proposed?

To ensure the equality of the sexes and establish a secular society. *please note the whole “equality of the sexes” thing – anyone else feel this whole thing is really aimed at women wearing hijab?*

 

While it may not sound all that bad, the tensions this whole issue has created are horrible! It pits one group against another. As if non “pure-laine” didn’t feel unwanted enough, this gets thrown in their face. I would also like to point out that it’s not only Muslims, Jews and Sikhs that are affected, but Christians as well.

In a country and province that depends so much on newcomers to immigrate and establish lives and families here to help support the population, I think this is just absurd! It’s like telling a guest to come over and stay, permanently, that they are welcome. But then you turn around to belittle them and make them feel so unwelcome with every chance you get. “I don’t like the way you look/dress/think/lead your life – you are below me! – but keep paying me rent and respect me.”

How can this proposed change benefit anyone in this province?

It doesn’t! It actually creates anger between groups, encourages the “us vs them” mentality that is already poisoning this society, will cause further segregation between groups rather than encouraging people to integrate and contribute to society, will increase the jobless rate and will lead to loss of manpower to other provinces.

That means that your 8, 12, 17 hour wait in the emergency room could increase! Why? Because it would seem that being cared for by a doctor with a kippa is unacceptable.

On an endless waiting list for a daycare spot for your little munchkin? Wait a little longer, why don’t you? It would seem a woman wearing a hijab is unfit to care for your child.

Like feeling safe at home? Well, worry no more! That menace to society, turbaned police officer has been sent packing and criminals will be freer to roam your neighbourhood now! (I hope you can hear the sarcasm)

Remember that freaking awesome French teacher you had? Well, she’s been sacked too – turns out her cross was too big.

 

In a province where emergency room wait times are now averaging 19 hours. Where parents are knocking door-to-door and waiting months before they can find a subsidized a day daycare spot (and the quality isn’t all that great either). Where the dropout rate in high schools is set at average of 29%. Where crime has hit its lowest numbers in about 40 years (nationally) due to better tactics and hard work by officers and the justice system… Have we forgotten that we accept immigrants not our of “pity” but out of need? Who else is going to support our ageing population? Quebecers don’t reproduce enough to create the jobs and workers needed to support our asses and all the services we demand!

So why in the world do we want to discourage people from public service? Why chase them away? In all honesty, the last time you went to the hospital, or to get your license renewed, or had a police officer answer your call – did you get your panties in a bunch because the person serving you was wearing some form of religious symbol? I, myself, couldn’t care less as long as I am getting my service and as long as the person is dressed in a professional and clean manner.

 

Another question: Everyone here pays taxes for services provided by the government, no? I highly doubt people wearing religious symbols have some form of tax exemption – At least I’ve never heard of one. So why pay taxes to an entity that wants to actually take away your rights and freedoms? It’s like paying to get slapped in the face!

 

I’m honestly angry from all sides when it comes to this issue. As a Québecoise (or Francophone), I cannot believe that people still have this “us vs them” mentality. The whole “Le Québec aux Québecois” thing never made any sense to me – it’s a province built on immigrants. I guess people are quick to forget that the French were colonizers who took over the land of the Natives. Then came the English, and others followed. All contributed in some way, shape, or form to make Québec and Canada what it is today. Look at what we have all created. Look at the diversity – it is one of the most beautiful gifts Allah has given us.

So it pains me to hear what some of my fellow Francophones say. And I take it to heart even more because I am a Muslim. They would have me limited as to employment and segregated the day I choose to cover my hair. And how would they look at and treat our children? They will not have Francophone names, they may even look Arab, and I hope they will be good, practicing Muslims (insha’Allah)… Should they be discriminated against simply because they aren’t 100% pure Québecois “de souche”? Because they may wear a religious symbol?

 

How much farther would you like this to go? Not allowing people to speak any other language other than French in public? How about limiting jobs to only certain races? It sounds ludicrous, but it’s really not far off.

I thought our laws prevented against job discrimination based on race, religion, age. Isn’t this discrimination? By refusing gainful employment to someone solely on the basis of religious symbols?

 

Do we not have better issues to deal with?

• Unemployment – about 5000 jobs were lost in Québec last month while other provinces showed an increase in jobs!
• Emergency room wait times – 21 hours in Montréal, 17 in the rest of the province.  Why? A doctor and nurse shortage due to crap salaries and conditions and restrictions.
• Lack of family doctors – many people do not have family doctors. Again, salaries, conditions and restrictions.
• Medical specialists – did you know that you can easily wait 6 months to see a specialist in our wonderful province? What if you had cancer? Wouldn’t 6 months possibly make all the difference between life and death?
• Subsidized day care – parents are constantly searching for a spot, waiting months to get one and the quality of service isn’t all that much to write home about.
• Corruption – if you haven’t heard about the Charbonneau commission, I suggest you check it out! Our tax dollars are lining the pockets of the political elite and their buddies. Who knew?!
• Education – cuts in elementary, high school and continuing education but no increase in tuition to make up for it. How well is that going to bode? Already, McGill is no longer Canada’s top University. That didn’t take long! Again, did you not see the high school dropout rate posted above?
• Quebec debt – Seems it’s at about $258 billion. No problem there, right?

 

I’ll stick with this very simple way of summing it all up:

“Simple minds are distracted by simple things”

 

Anyone in Ontario looking to hire a graphic designer/translator and a procurement manager? I’m so sick of this xenophobic province!

 

 

Here’s a link to a petition, if you’re at all interested.

 https://www.change.org/en-CA/petitions/le-gouvernement-qu%C3%A9b%C3%A9cois-parti-qu%C3%A9b%C3%A9cois-arreter-le-projet-de-loi-la-charte-des-valeurs-du-qu%C3%A9bec

And here’s what I wrote as my comment:

Ceci ne profite aucunement à notre société, ça ne fait que diviser les gens.

SVP, passons aux vrais problèmes : temps d’attente et services de la santé, éducation, création d’emplois, endettement, accès aux services, corruption, etc.

NOTRE GOUVERNEMENT TENTE DE NOUS DISTRAIRE AVEC DES CONNERIES! Mme Marois, cessez donc de gaspiller notre temps et notre argent et penchez-vous donc sur les problèmes qui nous touchent! Vous et votre parti ne fait qu’accroître la haîne entre les québecois et de nous faire honte en face du monde entier! 

 

Interested in further reading?

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2013/09/10/f-quebec-charter-proposal-constitution.html

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/08/21/f-charter-quebec-values-jocelyn-maclure.html

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2013/09/11/kelly-mcparland-quebec-charter-is-an-embarrassment-to-canadian-values-and-human-dignity/

http://www.cjad.com/blog/TommySchnurmacherShow/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10586945

Ramadan 2013 – Video link: Oxford University Debate: is Islam a religion of peace?

Assalamu alaikum everyone, rather than write out a very lengthy post today, I decided to give your eyes a break, but perhaps not your ears and your minds.

Over the weekend, Salem and I came across a video on Facebook. It’s about a debate that took place at Oxford University in May of 2013.

What was the question? “Is Islam a religion of peace?”

Now, with everything we see in the news papers, on the television and what we hear from our friends, family and neighbours, most people in the Western world would most-likely answer “No, Islam is not a religion of peace”. Given the importance of the media in our perception of the world and it’s people, that the media loves to focus on negatives and extremes, and are corporations funded by people or groups with their own agenda, then I certainly can’t really be all that surprised.

I invite you to take a few minutes to watch this video in defense of our religion (and I am saying our religion, not people who claim to practice it and twist it and cherry-pick passages in order to suit their own means). What I really like about the arguments put forward by this gentleman are that they are based on figures and logic – it’s not about preaching.

Click here for the video on YouTube

Enjoy!

Salam.

2 years ago, Allah blessed us with our marriage

Today marks a very important day for Salem and I – it’s our second wedding anniversary! I must admit that I find it flew right by and I have a hard time believing it really has been 2 years already! I guess that’s what happens when you’re sharing life with the person whom you fall deeper in love with, with every passing day.

My number one reason for getting up in the morning: my husband. He is the last thing I see when falling asleep and the first thing I see when waking. For that alone, I thank Allah.

And now, please excuse me while I ramble on for (quite) a bit about marriage. Some of the examples I’ll be using are pulled from comments I’ve come across over the years; some from complete strangers, others from co-workers and random people in my life.

I have seen so many marriages sour (they end in divorce or in very unhappy marriages) and it makes me so very sad. Do people realize that working out problems is not just a question of identifying issues but rather treating the issue through communication, understanding, tenderness, love and patience? There is no 5-minute cure to all marital problems, but we currently do have many resources available to help. I also find people sometimes get married for the wrong reasons, or to the wrong people, or without really knowing what marriage is. This isn’t the kind of thing you enter willy-nilly. You are, after all, selecting the person with whom you will be sharing everything for the rest of your days. If you want kids, this person will be the parent to your children. This person is the one you turn to first in good and bad times, your friend, confidant, lover and rock. While I am very pro-marriage, I also understand that sometimes divorce is the best solution – but one I think people should turn to if all other means don’t work.

To me, marriage is one of the best things Allah has sent down to us. While I understand that some marriages are happier than others, I am still baffled at how many people I have come across who consider it a burden or who have no respect for their spouses. Yes, of course, in some rare cases they are perhaps right in harbouring these feelings, but a good amount of people I have heard complaining (almost on a daily basis) should perhaps take a few moments to re-evaluate what marriage is, what life is and also take a look at themselves and their actions.

Marriage is not just about the good times, it’s also about challenging, hard and plain horrible times as well! It’s what you do, as a team, that makes these events ones that will either make you grow ever closer together or push you apart. Choose your actions and words wisely, you could be part one of the best things you could ever experience in this life or sowing the seeds of discourse, disrespect and loathing. People often forget that marriage takes 2 individual people and turns them into one entity, a team, and that always thinking about “me, me, me” and “he/she” is not going to work. We’re still individuals within a marriage, but we also become part of something so much bigger. When doing something I don’t only think about “how will this affect me?”, I think “how will this affect us?”, “what can I do to make us better, reach our goals, etc?”. The goals, aspirations and hopes of one become those of the other. When one becomes demotivated, the other is there to help through kind words, support or a good old kick in the pants.

Then again, I’ve encountered some people who think that my idea of marriage is a bit outdated. I do things for my husband, I make sacrifices, I don’t disrespect him or call him names, I am happiest when by his side, I love sharing everything with him, and he’s the same with me. GO ahead, call me old fashioned or silly for tending to his breakfast, lunch and dinner! It brings me joy when I know my few minutes of extra work in the morning provided for him during the workday. Especially since he’s so overloaded at work that he sometimes doesn’t even think to take 5 minutes to himself just to feed his body. I also know he would do the same for me were the roles reversed.

I cannot comprehend it when people tell me “I can’t wait for my spouse to be out of town/be away for a night/leave home, etc!”. While I do understand that some form of time alone is nice, why would someone be so enthusiastically looking forward to having this one person away from them? I feel my day is incomplete if I haven’t spent at least some time with my husband, something I have felt since we started dating, almost 6 years ago. We would see each other 5-7 days a week from day 1! We made time for each other even though we were busy with work and school: we would go on study dates together, grab a bite here and there, I sat in on some of Salem’s classes (doing homework while listening in on business admin lectures at JMSB). We’d ride the metro home together (partway) and Salem spent a whole year driving back and forth between Ville St-Laurent and Verdun almost every day, getting stuck in traffic on the 15 at 11:30-12:00 at night, just so we could spend some time together. I looked forward then to seeing him and that still stands to this day. I can’t fathom ever feeling differently.

All this being said, Alhamdullilah (thanks be to Allah) for putting such a wonderful person in my path, making us fall in love and blessing us with 2 amazing years. Insha’Allah (god-willing), our love will grow ever stronger with every passing year, we will be loving to each other and make the right decisions in this life so we can, in the end, spend eternity together.

As always, habibi, my undying love and devotion. Je t’aime à l’infini.

And now, some pictures from 2 years ago!!!!!

Say hello to our nephew – baby Yusuf!

On Friday, March 23rd, my sister (in-law, but I still consider her my sister) gave birth to her and her husband’s first child – baby Yusuf. The birth went pretty well, no complications and mommy and baby both went home the following evening.

I’m sharing a few of my favorite pictures here. A note to my sister and brother: While I have many pictures of the baby, I wouldn’t mind a few pictures of both parents with the baby… *hint hint hint* LOL!

Just a few days old… He’s still a bit pink!

I actually find it funny that he looks much older in this picture. Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais il me fait penser à un petit poussin!

One of the famous “floating baby” pictures (there are plenty of these). But I particularly love this one due to the knitted disco baby booties! Check out the pompoms!!!

I had to insert this picture of baby Yusuf with his grand-mother (Salem and Lama’s mother). Can you tell just how smitten she is with her first grand-child?

Sporting Tante-Caro wear. I really like the contrasts in this picture.

I love the different angle in this picture.

It’s funny to see just how “gushy” Salem is when it comes to this whole thing. Meanwhile, I think the fact that I am an aunt hasn’t really sunk in yet. Is it simply because I have yet to see see my nephew in person? I am getting loads of pictures, FaceTiming and a few videos but… I still feel a bit… I don’t know, it’s just like my mind can’t make the full connection just yet. Hello, you’re an aunt! This is your nephew! Perhaps also because I am a bit stand-offish/terrified of kids in general. I can only remember a handful of kids I’ve ever felt comfortable around so perhaps that is also sticking around in the back of my mind… “What if I go there and he just doesn’t like me?” It may seem like a silly thing to think, but I am so uneasy around kids – I never know what to do with them and I can’t help but think that kids have some instant dislike of me…

Here’s a typical situation: I sit down next to a someone’s kid (10 months and older), I look at the child out of the corner of my eye. Internal dialogue: “Don’t look at them directly, you might make them feel uncomfortable – they don’t know you.” I slowly (and stiffly) turn to them, they look at me, barely moving a muscle, halfway to the “dear in the headlights” already. “Ok, just give them a smile, let them know you’re nice… OMG! Not that big a smile! What are you? The Cheshire cat? You’ll make them have nightmares!” I give a sheepish smile and quickly turn my attention elsewhere, feeling so uncomfortable “They hate me already! Crap!”.

Babies I can handle a bit more but I swear they can feel how worried I am that they will start crying. I know, I know, crying = they need something and it has nothing to do with me. But when a baby I am holding starts crying, I start hearing those blaring submarine alarms “abandon ship! abandon ship! crying baby!” and then I start scrambling frantically, baby held out as far as I can, trying to find a parent in order to hand off the baby.

So I guess, in a sense, this is some kind of confession to everyone who encounters me and introduces me to their kids – Please, don’t be offended if I seem a bit distant/nervous/not all gushy and smiles with your kids – it’s certainly not them, it’s 100% me (ahahaha, yes it seems the “it’s not you, it’s me” bit can apply to kids as well). Just give me time to get over my urge for “flight”. And if your kid can talk, please bring up topics of conversation here and there that they can participate in so I can get to know what I can talk to them about… I have a hard enough time figuring out what people my age talk about, your child is even more of a total mystery to me. Oh, and people with babies – I will almost never work up the courage to ask if I can hold your baby. If you want me to hold them, please ask me and I will almost always accept. I never ask for 2 reasons: 1 – my fear that the kid won’t like me and 2 – perhaps the parent doesn’t trust me with their kid… don’t ask, again it makes no sense, it’s just the way my brain works.

After all this blabbing, I just wanted to post about our nephew. Masha’Allah to mommy and daddy, you have a beautiful child. Insha’Allah, you will get to experience one of the most beautiful and rewarding things that Allah has to offer us during our short time on this earth. And when you get bored or tired, ship over the baby to us… If he likes me…

Finding a way out of my rut

As evidenced by my post the other day, I was in a pretty bad state of mind concerning myself and, by extension, my creative endeavors. I have taken some time to think about how I feel and have decided to push myself, past my comfort zone, and challenge myself to being more creative. I looked into art classes – especially figure drawing classes – but after being confronted with $300-$400 price tags, I was turned off to that possibility. That and the fact that I don’t always “connect” with the artwork done by many of the teachers who offer the courses.

I will be challenging myself to sketching on a nearly daily basis and a good 1-hour (minimum) sit-down drawing session on the weekends. I might move that up to a painting session every second week, but lets get started with the drawing for the time being. I’ll be looking at some videos online in hopes of helping me out with technique as well.

Salem appears to be quite keen on my plan. It seems he was actually thinking of getting me to concentrate more on painting since one of his friends came over and mentioned the paintings I had hanging here and there. Salem offered to critique my work but I had to stop him there – I’m enough of my own critic, I don’t need someone else adding to it. I’ll just be asking him to pose for my figure sketches – be quiet and look pretty. 😉

Also, I would like to add a note concerning my previous post: Some people thought it to be a bit negative and that the last paragraph should maybe be reviewed. I’m sorry, but I don’t always see the world through rose-coloured glasses, especially when it comes to myself. Part of this blog is a way to keep family and friends in the know of what’s going on with Salem and I, part of it is to share some of my interests with people in general, and part of it is to just express what is on our minds. Unfortunately, I can be quite negative and hard on myself at times, that’s just the way I am. Even though I am not as bad as I used to be, it’s still something I struggle with on a daily basis. I’m sorry, but I was only being honest – letting people in on what I think, admitting that I am being a bit too harsh at times and hoping that this might be a wake-up call to some. What usually keeps us back is ourselves. We are our own worst critics, our own worst enemies, our own worst bullies.

Pressuring oneself

Those of you that know me are most-likely well aware of my tendency to put a lot of pressure on myself to perform and obtain what I consider perfection. I’ve done this in many facets of my life and for as long as I can remember.
Why?
I guess I’ve always felt like I needed approval of some kind, a form of approval I guess that wasn’t quite fulfilled for some odd reason. Even though people have complimented me throughout my life, I have always felt, and still feel to this day, that I’m not good enough. Not just on a personal level, but also through my skills and whatever it is that I do.
Last winter, I consulted with a therapist in order to get more of a grip on myself – I was often beating myself up inside, constantly zeroing in on my shortcomings and berating myself for not having done things to perfection. My therapist gave me more of an objective view on myself. My problem? I was comparing myself to others too much – apples to oranges, obsessing about small things only I would see and then repeating all these things back and forth in my mind. The question I was to ask myself for a few days in order to see the cause of my problems “How do I talk MYSELF into feeling bad”.
After a few sessions and a few weeks of work, I felt much better about myself, the negative self-talk went down to nearly non-existent and I felt great!
So why this discussion now?
For the past little while, I have been feeling rather frustrated with myself and, subsequently, with just about anything else. I think part of this is linked to my need for a creative outlet. I’ve always been a creative person – drawing, painting, writing, pottery, dancing, etc. I seem to have completely lost touch with this. For 2 years now, I have wanted to take a pottery lesson but have yet to sign up for one. Lately, I’ve been looking for drawing or painting classes that have a decent class schedule and don’t cost and arm and a leg. So far, it’s not looking so good.
At this point, some of you might be asking why I don’t just pick up my sketchbook, some pencils and draw. Or take out a canvas, my brushes and tubes and paint! And I fully agree! Here’s where pressuring myself comes back into the picture. I’m terrified that I won’t like what I put out.
While many people like my paintings, I always see something wrong with them. And while I like to draw, I find that any figures I try to draw always end up looking horrible! God forbid the model I am drawing ever sees the sketch I’ve made of them – they might never look at themselves the same way again.
The thing is, I know that I am blowing it way out of proportion, but I can’t help myself. At this point, I am stuck and I know I am the hurdle that keeps me back. I’m not too sure what to do at this point. The things I’ve always enjoyed doing, the things that used to relax me are now becoming stressors when I do them, and I get stressed when I cannot do them.
I’m hoping to find some decent lessons on YouTube. I was hoping to find some relaxation techniques to do before doing artwork, but maybe I’m the only one with this issue.

The lesson of the day – Don’t be like me; don’t let a stupid fear of failure get in the way of doing something that will make you happy. Don’t listen to all that negative BS that’s in your head because that’s all it is – BS! Stop aiming for perfection and just aim to be happy and satisfied and stop beating yourself up because you think that you’re not good enough. No else else thinks that, just you, and it’s only preventing you from being the best you could possibly be, it’s keeping you from being happy. Just stop!

Student protests in Qubec concerning fee hikes to post-secondary institutions

One of the big news stories today in Montréal and the province of Québec are the student protests over the hiking of post-secondary educational institutions. The government plans to increase tuition fees by 325$ a year, every year until 2016 in order to better fund these institutions. Today, many students are outside these institutions, holding signs and forming chains to prevent people from getting in. As an avid listener of CJAD, I was floored to hear one protester saying that some students tried to get in to the buildings in order to go to class, that a few had gotten in and, this is what did it for me, he called them “closed-minded”.

Please excuse me as I step up onto my soapbox for just a few minutes (or get up on my high horse, whichever you prefer).

Why call some of the students, with their minds set to go to class, trying their best to brave a wall of another group of students with their intentions set on DENYING THEM OF THEIR PAID RIGHT TO AN EDUCATION considered closed-minded? Is it simply because they are not of the same opinion as another group? That, my friend, is being closed-minded. HYPOCRITE!!! *steps off box/horse*

Having been a student just a few years ago, living outside of home, paying for part of my tuition/books (although my parents did help me with educational fees – Alhamdullilah), I still held a part-time job throughout my studies and saved as much as I could to pay for the things I needed. Yes, I took on some debt but studies show that I most likely make more than those who didn’t get a post-secondary education. Basically, I invested into my future.

Students in this province seem to fail to realize that tuition fees here are much lower than in other provinces. Current tuition fees are around $2100 per year (2 semesters). With the hike, the fees would go up to $3700 per year by 2016. The rest of Canada charges approximately $4000 per year and the US… well I rather not think about it. While I do agree that the hike is quite steep for such a short implementation (I would have suggested by 2020), I do understand why these institutions need these hikes – Underfunded institutions (of any kind) eventually turn out a lower-quality product. An underfunded hospital may not be able to hire 5 great surgeons – instead, they hire only 3 great surgeons and overwork them until they either make mistakes or go on burnout. Post-secondary institutions need to fund not only their teachers/professors, but they also need to pay for the maintenance of their campuses as well as pay other forms of staff and student programs.

I personally find that a lot of students in this province seems to have this sense of entitlement “everything is owed to me, I haven’t done anything in life yet, but I DESERVE to be spoon fed everything I desire!”. A we Francophones would say “Donné dans le bec tout cuit!”. Perhaps if these students god part-time jobs, asked for low-interest government loans, didn’t go out drinking with their buddies on a weekly basis and actually practiced good money-saving and handling habits, then people wouldn’t get so bloody irritated any time students started whining!

My advice to all students:
1- Get a job!
2- Get a low-interest government loan (you don’t get paid any interest until a few months after you get your degree!)
3- Stop wasting your money on stupid things you don’t really need
4- There’s no shame in asking your parents for help. If you’re not yet in a post-secondary institution but are considering attending one sometime in the future, ask your parents if they’d be willing to start up a fund for you, or help you set up a special savings fund on your own.

Here are some articles about the protests if you’d like to read more:
CTV Montreal
The Globe and Mail

Bumps in the road when practicing Islam in a western society

I figured I would post on here about something I have been dealing with for years now, basically since I converted to Islam – figuring out what the fine line is between what is permissible and what is not. One of the biggest challenges in my case is Holidays practiced by people (whether they be religious or not).

Coming up next Monday is what used to be my favorite day of the year – Halloween. As a child, I loved dressing up, looking at how houses were decorated and, of course, getting candy. As an adult, the only thing I cared about was dressing up. I will admit that now, at the age of 27, the only thing I miss about not partaking in anything Halloween is the dressing up. yes, a grown woman who loves to play dress-up! Why? I don’t know. Is it a means of escapism? Is it just the clothing and the makeup? Is it something creative I can let out? I have no clue what it’s all about.

A fellow Muslim recently asked me if I was doing anything for Halloween. Enter the ever-so-present dilemma – Do I dress up or not? Halloween is the one day a year where I can dress up, go out in public and not be looked at as a complete nutter. I didn’t partake last year and I won’t be partaking this year because of my own religious beliefs. Salem and I were actually discussing this over dinner last night and I stumbled upon a post from another blogger dating back to 2007. It’s quite a lengthy post but it goes into more detail than what I will do here, which is give you the basic rundown of my reasoning.

Halloween is a Pagan holiday. Islam is a monotheistic religion (just like Judaism and Christianity – FYI) and within our own religion, we cannot participate in anything that contradicts our faith and religious teachings (ie One God vs Many Gods). By partaking in the dressing up and trick-or-treating and all that, we’re only saying that we agree with the belief – no matter how much the practice now is different from what the real Pagans practiced and still do. Let us not forget that one (if not the) biggest sins in Islam is to associate partners to Allah (ie polytheism). Also “Whoever imitates a nation is one of them.” (Abu Da’oud)

That being said, I don’t practice or observe anyone else’s religious holidays either although it does make things complicated on my end because I always hope my family understands that it’s nothing personal and that I do miss the opportunity to visit them on what is a special occasion to them. Instead, I try to spend time with them around their holidays but not on the days themselves. While Islam, Judaism and Christianity are all faiths of the book and believe in one God, we certainly don’t practice or believe the same religious holidays. If my family wants to come and visit me on any of our two Eids, then they are more than welcome, but I don’t expect it of them as they aren’t Muslims.

It’s all very hard to explain and can get complicated because holidays involve traditions and emotions. In the end, it comes down to 2 important questions: “Is this event something that I believe in? It is something that goes against my religious teachings and beliefs?”. I believe that there is no God but God, that we worship none but him and that we are accountable to him at the end of our time on this earth. When I converted, I made the decision to follow my religion as best I could and to submit to the will of Allah, therefore I cannot participate in religious observances which I do not believe in and only participate in the holidays dictated by my religion.

On a lighter note, I won’t be dressing up on the 31st but I have already put in a request with Salem that we have a costume party for my 28th birthday. Yayyyy!!!! I’ll probably be playing dress-up at home in the meantime!