Today marks a very important day for Salem and I – it’s our second wedding anniversary! I must admit that I find it flew right by and I have a hard time believing it really has been 2 years already! I guess that’s what happens when you’re sharing life with the person whom you fall deeper in love with, with every passing day.
My number one reason for getting up in the morning: my husband. He is the last thing I see when falling asleep and the first thing I see when waking. For that alone, I thank Allah.
And now, please excuse me while I ramble on for (quite) a bit about marriage. Some of the examples I’ll be using are pulled from comments I’ve come across over the years; some from complete strangers, others from co-workers and random people in my life.
I have seen so many marriages sour (they end in divorce or in very unhappy marriages) and it makes me so very sad. Do people realize that working out problems is not just a question of identifying issues but rather treating the issue through communication, understanding, tenderness, love and patience? There is no 5-minute cure to all marital problems, but we currently do have many resources available to help. I also find people sometimes get married for the wrong reasons, or to the wrong people, or without really knowing what marriage is. This isn’t the kind of thing you enter willy-nilly. You are, after all, selecting the person with whom you will be sharing everything for the rest of your days. If you want kids, this person will be the parent to your children. This person is the one you turn to first in good and bad times, your friend, confidant, lover and rock. While I am very pro-marriage, I also understand that sometimes divorce is the best solution – but one I think people should turn to if all other means don’t work.
To me, marriage is one of the best things Allah has sent down to us. While I understand that some marriages are happier than others, I am still baffled at how many people I have come across who consider it a burden or who have no respect for their spouses. Yes, of course, in some rare cases they are perhaps right in harbouring these feelings, but a good amount of people I have heard complaining (almost on a daily basis) should perhaps take a few moments to re-evaluate what marriage is, what life is and also take a look at themselves and their actions.
Marriage is not just about the good times, it’s also about challenging, hard and plain horrible times as well! It’s what you do, as a team, that makes these events ones that will either make you grow ever closer together or push you apart. Choose your actions and words wisely, you could be part one of the best things you could ever experience in this life or sowing the seeds of discourse, disrespect and loathing. People often forget that marriage takes 2 individual people and turns them into one entity, a team, and that always thinking about “me, me, me” and “he/she” is not going to work. We’re still individuals within a marriage, but we also become part of something so much bigger. When doing something I don’t only think about “how will this affect me?”, I think “how will this affect us?”, “what can I do to make us better, reach our goals, etc?”. The goals, aspirations and hopes of one become those of the other. When one becomes demotivated, the other is there to help through kind words, support or a good old kick in the pants.
Then again, I’ve encountered some people who think that my idea of marriage is a bit outdated. I do things for my husband, I make sacrifices, I don’t disrespect him or call him names, I am happiest when by his side, I love sharing everything with him, and he’s the same with me. GO ahead, call me old fashioned or silly for tending to his breakfast, lunch and dinner! It brings me joy when I know my few minutes of extra work in the morning provided for him during the workday. Especially since he’s so overloaded at work that he sometimes doesn’t even think to take 5 minutes to himself just to feed his body. I also know he would do the same for me were the roles reversed.
I cannot comprehend it when people tell me “I can’t wait for my spouse to be out of town/be away for a night/leave home, etc!”. While I do understand that some form of time alone is nice, why would someone be so enthusiastically looking forward to having this one person away from them? I feel my day is incomplete if I haven’t spent at least some time with my husband, something I have felt since we started dating, almost 6 years ago. We would see each other 5-7 days a week from day 1! We made time for each other even though we were busy with work and school: we would go on study dates together, grab a bite here and there, I sat in on some of Salem’s classes (doing homework while listening in on business admin lectures at JMSB). We’d ride the metro home together (partway) and Salem spent a whole year driving back and forth between Ville St-Laurent and Verdun almost every day, getting stuck in traffic on the 15 at 11:30-12:00 at night, just so we could spend some time together. I looked forward then to seeing him and that still stands to this day. I can’t fathom ever feeling differently.
All this being said, Alhamdullilah (thanks be to Allah) for putting such a wonderful person in my path, making us fall in love and blessing us with 2 amazing years. Insha’Allah (god-willing), our love will grow ever stronger with every passing year, we will be loving to each other and make the right decisions in this life so we can, in the end, spend eternity together.
As always, habibi, my undying love and devotion. Je t’aime à l’infini.
And now, some pictures from 2 years ago!!!!!