Well, I often wonder if I think too much or if I read into things too much. Lately, it’s been getting to me a bit, please excuse me as I vent/complain/voice my concerns out loud.
I started a new job a month ago and I’ve only recently started making any kind of progress socially. Even at that, it’s hard! My cubicle is in the same area as 2 other girls. One barely even responds when I say hello and gives me the impression that she looks down on me. The other one responds to my hellos and we’ve had brief conversations. Yesterday, 3 girls were laughing at some sort of forward on the computer (one was almost crying from laughing so hard) so I said “something must be funny if she’s on the verge of tears”… No one even aknowledged me. I have no clue what was so funny… Am I just wasting my time?
Also, it seems I try to always please others. For my birthday dinner this weekend, I decided to go to a Moroccan restaurant because 3 people I had consulted before were quite interested. I searched all over the place and decided on a restaurant. Now it seems half the people I invited can’t come (I know, I invited people at the last minute) and people have complained about the parking (it’s on St-Denis – parking is hard there but not too bad if you don’t mind walking for 5 minutes)… So now I’m considering moving the whole event to a more parking-friendly area (and somewhere closer to the homes of the people coming) but they don’t have Moroccan restaurants! So Now I’m looking at Thai places (I like Thai food) and of course, I’m wondering “will people be happy?”…
*SIGH* Big, Freaking SIGH!
When am I just going to make up my mind and not give a crap whether people are totally happy at my expense? It’s my freaking birthday! Just one day a year where I’d like to have things 100% (or even just 90%) my way! I don’t want to hear about the parking or that the soup that came with the table d’hote didn’t have enough salt or that the proposed time is too early, etc etc etc. Seriously! It’s just one meal out of the whole year! One! Maybe 3 hours of your time! Can you please just suck it up? Do I complain when people tell me where they want to go for their birthday? No! Why? Because it’s their happiness that counts, it’s their day!
It seems it’s the same problem every year. Perhaps next year I’ll just take a vacation somewhere sunny and not have to deal with any of this. It’ll just be me, myself and I … and the sand, beach and sun!